iloilogamers

or,The Great Chinese Challenge Vol. 1 !

Seeing as you are now learning Chinese, my Chinese honor cannot take the fact that there is another one in our group than can speak Chinese better than I, despite the fact that i've never learned a single Chinese word except "Sa" (that means "four", ahem), cannot tell the difference between Mandarin and Nihonggo, and have absolutely no Chinese lineage in my bloodline.

But i have eaten many a Ma-ling in my lifetime, i've eaten at 5-star chinese restaurants like Mang Dagul's Siomai Haus and Turo-Turo, have bought many ChinChanTsu (ang daw cream na bala) for various relatives, have played many hours worth of Battle Realms (ay Japanese na gali, inde Chinese, pero sige lang ah, singkit man mata nila tanan) and have watched many movies that start with Once Upon A time in China and ends with many numerals, and have once, once, almost said "excuse me" to an actual Chinese when i was nudging for space in the LRT.

Those hallmark qualities make me qualified to defend the Homeland China's honor (never mind the fact that you didn't attack it's honor to begin with) and because MotoMark prodded me to (Mark: "ha? ano to man? mangdalahig ka pa ya?")

I challenge you to a Chinese Speak-Off Battle Rap!

(sound of the gong, and sounds of chinese music in the air)

(bows in traditional Thai manner to opponent, looks at the Empress)

to Raf: Pongchwaila!!

disclaimer: I'm sorry, i'm just bored, and i just finished watching a Sarah Geronimo video on youtube!

Ni hao! Renshi nimen hen gaoxing! Wo lai jieshao yixia! Wo shi feilubin ren Ren Shengning, wo zai Ilang. Wo xihuan baozi, jaiozi, dunniuru he nuinai. Wo xiang ni xiang wo hen pang! Bu shi wo hen pang! Wo shi hen shuai!

Basically, it means "kapoy na ko, kulang tulog ko kag katol buli ko".

Raf
-yao hen duo Tsingtao Pijiu (needs more beer)

Cranes neck left and right, bones cracking, does a bruce lee skipping rope stance, rips off shirt (spectator's comment: "why would you do that?") and shouts back:

Kung Hei Fat Choi! (lips not moving in synch)

Hahaha! (delayed lip movement) It is a good brotherly challenge, brother! (bows, lips still not moving in synch) Come, let us have more wine. What an auspiscious day this is! Innkeeper! More wine!

(chinese music suddenly audible loudly) MOVIE ENDS!


(chinese music fades up, closing credits in Japanese, screen blacks out with chinese music still audible)

Director's note: And don't forget to watch the sequel! and a prequel to the sequel after that! And don't forget to buy our merchandise!

Hello! I'm not so glad to meet you! I have a skin disease! I am a Filipino citizen. I love Piolo, Sam Milby and Dingdong Dantes. I think you people envy me because of my manly physique. I am not fat matyag nyo lang na! Mas gwapo ko sa inyo tanan sorry na lang kamo.

Pusang Ama! Bwahahahaha!


Raf
-I heart Heart Evangelista

Zaochen hao. Nin shi zuo de quanbu cuowu. Chule biaoji, nin yinggay conquian nuyou zhengque de xuehui ta. Ruguo nin bushi jidao yu na, wo you er ge ci wei nin, shun ta!

Ayos man Master Mark? Hehehe.

Degeneration X! Good one master!